Almost every insecure feeling comes from having unfulfilled needs. These insecurities provoke one of the most potent and predominant forces on earth, which is the force of fear. The most prevalent way of dealing with fear is through the attainment of power. However, power is often attained through the oppression of others.

And here lies the tragedy.

In taking advantage of another person for one’s own profit, the oppressor always ends up becoming truly oppressed, for they are absolutely and utterly reliant on their oppressive behavior to feel powerful. The power is thus gone, fear remains, and insecurity flourishes.

You can almost think of the above as an equation, and, if skillful enough, I think some of the words can be rearranged to spell a popular term like “love.” So then solving the equation involves the following:

1. 01 Acknowledge and accept fear since it can never be banished.
2. 02 Always, always, always act with good intentions.
3. 03 Never exploit another person for your own personal gains. Instead, help them feel liberated, and in doing so, you will liberate yourself.

These are the routes to real power, but then maybe it would be no longer called “power” but rather something more beautiful.

I have always had strong feelings about our relationship. But I concluded, 4.2 seconds after speaking with you, I cannot fulfill the responsibilities that come with it. I have toyed with the “ifs” and “buts,” but deep down, I know I cannot.

There was a time when I enjoyed expressing myself in a healthy dialogue. It is the only way I know how to live my life and is a desire that has cemented a bond between us that I will take with me always.

I imagine that if our paths should ever cross far into the future, you would still see the warmth at the corner of my smile, even if years passed without a word or thought.

So, basically, if anything has changed, then it is certainly not for the worse and not for the better either, since the greatest issue for me is that I care about what we built together. But my decision is final and one that cannot be judged. It lies between no two points.

As for my desire to stay, I can do nothing about it, but I will not ever ask you to convince me otherwise since I would not want to cheat you of a more suitable person for the role. I will keep this desire to myself, which is enough of a gift to last me through these days until I find another job.

Please accept my letter of resignation.

It’s 5:00 am, and I have no clue what to say. I will play music in the background and wait to be stolen by its melody. But where will I go? Where will it take me?

I will listen to my most personal songs, songs I first heard long ago. In particular, one transports me back to that instant when it first caused the reverberation of a new and mysterious emotion. Okay, I will tell you the song’s name as I listen to it – Loving You by Minnie Riperton.

I was sitting in my car, huddled lazily in the front seat. My back crouched low, and my legs extended before me to meet my feet, which were resting up high on the door’s ledge where the window opens. The car door was open, and I was in the sorriest state as I could ever be. I remained sad as the fires of hell rained upon me. I laugh cynically at the fact that I could be envied at being the owner of such a beautiful car, a perfectly sculpted Mercedes Benz graced with the brightest red, glowing in the sunshine of this perfect summer’s day.

But I was destroyed, ruined by a rare and interstellar, black swan event. My thoughts scattered into a thousand pieces, and all of them had fallen and been lost. My soul, incapable of existing in this confusion, had already abandoned me. I was so damn lost. Even my wisdom, the only remaining ally, conspired against me, telling me I would never pick myself up, and instead, I would continue to fall downwards into this endless hole of worrisome thought.

But for a moment, that song opened a small window in my dark and shrunken universe. I was able to peer through and breathe again. I was able to feel my existence despite my circumstance. My body regained form, and my senses, which had been deadened by depression, were suddenly alive as if I had just been re-born. The scent of life entered me, and though I was utterly still, my mind was soaring on a journey of dreams.

In an instant, I was overwhelmed by a sensation of such perfect and complete happiness. As the clouds in my mind cleared, I became aware of a tingly feeling of warmth on the side of my face exposed to the sunlight.

I was at peace.

And then I became mystified about how I could go from one extreme of depression to this other of happiness. Although I knew the joy would not last, I was content to have achieved this little victory over my depression. I knew I would sink again, for my sadness was due and warranted since it had been written for me long ago.

But I learned to give in to the hold that this sadness had on me. I would submit to it and surrender to this futile fight. I would let it take me to wherever it chooses, and for however long it wanted. Even if it took me to the hot gates because I knew I was destined to be happy again someday, for that was also warranted and had been written for me long ago.

Though I cannot claim any truth to the lessons I learned on that day, but here they are:

• - It is better to admit you know nothing than to think you know everything.
• - It is better to be scared than to be content.
• - It is better to have unsatisfied needs than to be detached from having needs.
• - It is better to be going through difficulty than to be someone else in paradise.

And unfortunately, in time, you will have an answer to all these questions, for you will have gained a small piece of wisdom during your period of unhappiness.

But for now:

• I hope you cry a thousand tears.
• I hope you suffer one-hundred sleepless nights.
• I hope you hurt tens of pains.
• I hope your tragedies destroy you.

I hope this… so you that never forget the magic of this moment you are in.

The memory of a young woman’s image remains frozen in the back of my mind. I remember a time when I caught her asleep on my sofa. As I approached her, I became curious at the invisible bubble of serenity that surrounded her. Her head was low and partially hidden by her shoulder, and as I moved around her body, I remember my emotions illuminating.

She exuded an absolute innocence that could not be corrupted by the forces of the universe. Her stillness radiated all the peace that could ever exist. Her face was the image of the one that our ancestors saw when they drew the angels. I looked at her for a while, and somewhere during that time, I understood what it meant to have empathy. A little faith in humanity had resorted, and I sang a stupid song.

Later that day, and wary of the world I was in, I suddenly became overwhelmed with sadness. I questioned the truth of what I had seen. Was it an illusion I had created by a need to battle against this faithless world’s loneliness? Or was there, if just a thread of meaning, to this existence? When found, the answer diminished into inconsequence, for I knew that her sleeping image was not independent of who she was, but in fact, it was a mirror of her essence.

Still, my sadness ran deep because it bordered on the fringes of fear. You see, she was compelled to read a darker page from the book of life, and what she discovered was unexpected, and unsurprisingly became a cause of great stress for her. My fear might have been totally unfounded, but since I did not know the outcome of how she would be affected, I could not help but be afraid.

I was afraid that the next time I caught her asleep, I would see a void. I will see an expressionless face of a person who talks about the ugliness of life. A person who was once forced to questioned her soul’s beauty and answered it with rejection, concluding that her purpose is to conquer her fears without ever accepting them as an integral part of what makes her soul so beautiful.

The thought of this became a great source of my stress until it eventually drove her away.

"The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender.” - Emil Ludwig

Yup. I think he’s right.

That “first kiss” opens the Gates of Hades, though you will not initially know it as the heat would be all that is on your mind. I think the “final surrender” would equate to locking the Gates behind you and throwing away the keys.

I bet you anything that that is what Emil Ludwig meant to say, though he did not because he was probably trying to sell the stuff he wrote.

After all, sales are simply a transfer of emotions, and if, in fact, “people buy on emotion,” then I would argue that Emil Ludwig successfully sold his idea.

Iwoke up heavy and unusually worried. I may have made a mistake. The problem is related to a particular email I sent to a woman, and now I am anxious to see if she wrote back.

So, the first thing I did was turn on the computer to check my emails. If that person did write, then at least, I could evaluate whether there is a problem based on her response. If the person did not write, I have more reason to assume that there really is a problem.

I waited for Windows to load while unlocking the gates of applications with the deepest powers of passwords. The constant downloading of apps slows the operating system to a terrible crawl, requiring me to “clear the catch” and disable Wi-Fi and repeat the loading process (all the while the antivirus is going through its usual scans and updates in the background).

I waited with great anticipation as Outlook finally opened, and when the messages downloaded in my inbox, I noticed she did not write.

My heartbeat went up a little. The worry returned, and I began to review what I had sent, checking for any self-incriminating words I may have said.

It was tiring to re-read the content because I had written everything with a lot of thought and care. So, reviewing it again for the possibility of some damaging evidence seemed like I was taking away from the natural order of how things should be, which had prompted me to write the way I did.

I thought, let me take a break, and in doing so, I remember the lessons that I tell myself: “Stay positive.” “Don’t worry about anything.” “No matter what, forgive yourself, even if you are wrong because inside you are a good person.” “Enjoy life,” and so on.

But still, I have a sales quota to meet, and she was my best lead. I went through the list of standard protocols for writing an email to see if I was missing something:

• - Was the subject of the email bold enough to capture her attention?
• - Did I demonstrate value by identifying a relevant problem and how I would solve it?
• - Was the content structure easy to follow and separated by subheadings?
• - Did I write down only what was necessary and avoid a stream of conscious thought?
• - Was there a call to action that prompts a response?
• - Did the call to action have a sense of urgency?
• - Did I minimize the mental effort necessary to understand the core message?
• - Did I avoid complicated jargon?

Oh, she replied! I am now skimming the content, reading only the “I’s” and the “U’s,” of course. And I cannot stop smiling. It put me in such a happy mood.

I am in a good mood. I am in a good, good, happy mood!

And you? I hope you are having an equally good day.